Birds Gone Wild

The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, and the bees are buzzing. Spring is definitely here. And with spring comes new life. This has brought about an interesting development in our world: the penguins are mating.

Yes. Mating. (!)

But they’re not mating with each other. They have their sights set on a pair of armadillos wearing cowboy hats. So far, the armadillos don’t appear to be interested, but I am slightly worried that we will soon have a house full of pengui-dillos.

The conversations about mating are always uncomfortable for me. I mean, it’s science, right? I shouldn’t be editing out the sections about reproduction in the boys’ vast library of penguin literature. But I’m nowhere near ready to have the “Where do penguins come from?” conversation that seems to be looming on the horizon.

The other day, I had a rather upsetting encounter with Blue. I was sitting in the kitchen, peacefully eating my bowl of bran flakes, when Blue and his penguin came into the room. He announced, “Mama got laid last night.”

(gasp!)

The cereal shot out of my mouth, and I started to choke. Blue patted me gently on the back as I tried to recover.

“Ummm…WHAT????” I wheezed.

“Mama got laid by my penguin!” he answered.

(the penguin?)

“What do you mean, honey?” I asked, trying to sound normal.

“The penguin laid an egg, and now you’re going to be the baby!” he said, proudly.

(AHA! GOT IT! Phew!)

“That’s terrific,” I said. “Now go and play while I clean up the mess caused by my brain exploding.”