I have to admit to having a bit of blogger's block these days. We've been at this blogging thing for six months, you and I, and I'm finding it a bit difficult to come up with new and exciting things to babble about.
This week I considered writing about the Martin Luther King, Jr. celebration at the boys' school. I happened to be volunteering last week when the kids abruptly abandoned their lesson about goldfish (They're gold! And they swim!) to practice their Martin Luther King song and dance. Yes, you read that correctly -- a song and dance. It starts off like this: Martin Luther King/You make my spirit sing/You mean so much to me/'Cause you taught us how to be free. Combine that with a little foot stomping, hand waving, and wiggling, and you're ready for the Martin Luther King assembly (pageant?) on Thursday. I was also there when the teacher tried to generate a discussion about "brotherhood," but that quickly dissolved when the five year olds started raising their hands to say things like, "I have a brother!" and "I have a sister!" and "My brother is mean!" At that point, the kids were quickly dismissed to go work on their tooth fairy pillows (in preparation for February, which is Tooth Month).
But, you know, I feel like I've already made the case that this school is capable of making any serious holiday hilarious. I think I need to do something different for a few weeks. I'll come out and admit that I've read more than a few celebrity blogs. On these sites, fans write questions to the celebrity, and he/she answers. I think that's what we should do! After all, I can be a pretty big diva. But, of course, this plan only works if you ASK ME QUESTIONS. They can be funny or serious. You can pose them in the comments section, or you can send me an email. But you have to do it, and if you don't, my feelings will be hurt. And if my feelings get hurt, I'll have to post a video with me crying. Let me tell you, that's not a pretty sight.
To get us started, certain young people agreed to be the first question askers. Here is what their inquiring minds wanted to know:
Do you eat lunch while you're teaching?
Sadly, yes I do. One of my classes runs from 10 am until 1 pm, right through the lunch hour. And if I get hungry, as some of you know, I am not a nice person. And if I am not a nice person in class, I will not get good teaching evaluations. And if I don't get good teaching evaluations, I will not be rehired.
My lunch looks like a kindergartener's lunch: peanut butter sandwiches, applesauce, Chips Ahoy cookies. This is because there is no grownup food in our house.
Do you have play time at your school?
Uh, no. I have some bad news for you, Sparky. After kindergarten, you'll find a substantial reduction in fun.
What do you do while you're teaching?
Fly by the seat of my pants. And show movies. There's nothing like showing a movie to kill an hour of class time.
What is your favorite grocery store?
This is a tricky question. We have many, many grocery stores near us, and they all serve different purposes. The closest one is our local organic coop, where we can go and spend a lot of money but feel happy about ourselves and our choices. This is the place we go for produce, dairy, and general good karma. But if we want Chips Ahoy cookies, we need to go somewhere else. We tend to go to the place that has the free child care, because in addition to buying Chips Ahoy, you can take a little time to get a coffee and read a magazine. Now, if the coop were to offer free child care, I would move in there! Good karma and babysitting at the same time!? Can you imagine?
What do you like to eat for breakfast?
Little kids.
OK, there you have it. Now it's your turn. Send me a question. I'm waiting.....
Who's writing this?
- jennifer
- I read a ton. I like to talk about and write about books. I love literary fiction, narrative nonfiction, and the occasional police procedural. I also like pigs and ice cream and smart conversation.
BUY THIS BOOK
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13 comments:
If you could do anything - and I believe you can. What would it be?
WHo is your favorite dwarf and why?
Do you have the power to imbue me with enough creativity and wit so I can ask a good question?
In my dream last night, you had given me instructions for a performance that we were giving together; we were supposed to introduce writers to an audience. I was ready for this, until you announced that this was just a rehearsal, which had to do with everyone eating a lot of cake at your house. Also, a set of twin girls about the age of Green and Blue were there, and my husband moved in with your family. Overall, I felt panic. Can you interpret this for me?
What happens when you combine bottomless strong margaritas, chips, salsa and guacamole?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
OK I cheated. I got this question here: http://www.plumbingsupply.com/life. html I was trying to think of something original. This IS something that my son would ask when discussing the theory of evolution. This is right after his questions "How were the planets created?" and "Where did God come from?".
Do I still get credit since I sited my source?
Popular celebrity questions:
How many times have you been arrested for DUI?
Is it true what I read about you in the tabloids?
Have you ever been abducted by aliens?
If you could be an animal, what kind of animal would you be?
Where do you usually go for rehab?
Do you wear underwear?
Popular celebrity questions:
How many times have you been arrested for DUI?
Is it true what I read about you in the tabloids?
Have you ever been abducted by aliens?
If you could be an animal, what kind of animal would you be?
Where do you usually go for rehab?
Do you wear underwear?
(1) If you could go back and 'do it all again,' would you?
(2) Similarly, if you could go back in time and impart one piece of knowledge to high school/college Jen, what would it be?
And finally, a logic question.
(3) You are the groupie of a five piece band consisting of a drummer, bassist, guitarist, keyboardist and lead singer. After years of devotion and loyalty, you find yourself in a situation where you can sleep with one and only one member of the band.
Based solely on their role in the group, who do you sleep with and why?
To quote high school/college Jen, "How ARE you?"
Why did it take you so long to decide Michael was the one? I mean, jeez, we lost the guy for like a year, even though EVERYone knew you two would eventually come together. Seriously, you've got just about everything on Michael--intelligence, looks, degrees, blogs (his really does suck)--but in this, he had you beat by a year and a mile.
Oh, and will you come visit me?
Do you budget your family expenses and why?
Do you fret that being a liberal in the US is ultimately a self-defeating proposition?
Do you ever wish you were Black? or Jewish?
Do you want to live overseas? Even if only for a six month stretch? How old would Blue and Green need to be before you would take them out of the country for that long?
Can you tell me why I am thinking up questions when I should be sleeping--or at least working for the giant university that pays me to write online?
I have a question.... how has becoming a mother changed you?
Oh... and what's your five year plan?
When we drive/fly/ship Blue and Green off to their respective colleges of choice, how will we know how we did as parents? What kind of grading rubric will we use? Example: Where does "He's on his way to financial independence and support of his parents in their old age" fit in -- required for a passing grade or extra credit?
i like Kathy's question about becoming a mother! the good and the not so great?
oh, and there is a great embassy suites here in san jose...when do we get to join you and the boys for free breakfast?!
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