From: The School District
To: Parents of Kindergarteners
Dear Parents:
This memo is to inform you that we have scheduled a field trip at the beach for your children on June 6. We have made sure that this trip coincides with "S is for Summer!" day in the kindergarten curriculum, and we have attached an important handout about the importance of sunscreen.
We are aware that this year is a La Nina year in our city. We know that record grey, record cold, and general crapitude is predicted for the upcoming weeks. But we truly doubt that the region's bad weather would impact this wonderful excursion. If it does, we will change the curriculum theme to "S is for Shittiness."
We have also made sure to schedule our trip at a far-away beach. Despite the steep gas prices, we want to ensure that your child has a powerful memory of a long ride in a steamy, gas-guzzling bus. To further enhance their experience, we have chosen a site that has no bathroom facilities. After all, if you bring 85 six-year-olds on a four hour trip, the likelihood that someone will need to pee is small, right?
If, on the day of your trip, you are startled by the predictions of snow in the mountains and several inches of rain in the lowlands, be advised that we will not cancel or change these plans for any reason. We owe it to the environment to send your small children out into the low tides to handle, fling, and strangle the wildlife.
Sincerely,
The Powers That Be
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4 comments:
"S" is for Shittiness! The weather continues. I am so happy to know how a sea cucumber breathes, though--this small bit of knowledge almost makes up for the rain. I just hope it's a true, honest-to-god fact.
lmao! that looked like part fun, part headache, part insanity, and part shittiness!
and what a great take home message... hopefully they don't sell stuffed sea cucumbers that Blue may decide to name "pecker" :)
I was always puzzled about the lack of seat belts on the bus, given how my parents would flap and freak if we had a twist in our (buckled) belts in the back seat of our (tanklike Volvo) car. Why is that?
I think it costs too much to put seat belts in buses, most of which were built 30 or more years ago.
On this trip, we sat 3 to a seat, too, so some kids were hanging in the aisle.
A bad plan all around.
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